A group of bats is hanging around, upside down, as usual, mostly sleeping. Suddenly one notices that Charlie is on the floor, standing upright and looking around.

"Hey, Charlie," he calls out. "What are you doing down there?"

Charlie looks up and says, "Yoga!"

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world."
      ~Jean Baudrillard

"I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween."
      ~Unknown

"We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts."
      ~Adam (Alec Baldwin), Beetlejuice

More Over-18s Are Celebrating Halloween

CHICAGO - Step into Frank's bar and you'll get a glimpse of what Halloween is becoming. The popular tavern in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood has been decked out for weeks in black and orange, and patrons can order drinks with such names as "Sex on a Tombstone." On the night itself, manager Robby Ehlert expects to see a number of costumes that won't be G-rated. "A lot of the costumes are, uhhh, not costumes kids would wear," he says with a chuckle. "You'll see sexy cops, sexy pirates — anything sexy basically."

Increasingly, Halloween is a holiday for adults, sometimes celebrated with kids but often without them. "I've never seen a season like this," says Joe Marver, founder of Spirit Halloween Superstores, a chain of nearly 200 specialty stores nationwide that open just for the weeks preceding the holiday. Marver says most adults used to wait until the last minute to throw together a costume. But this year, he's already had to reorder some lines of adult-sized garb. (He, too, says pirates are big this year, apparently due to the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.")

Adults now represent up to 65 percent of his costume sales, a noticeable shift compared with years past. "This is an adult holiday," Marver says. "It's party time."

A first-time survey done in recent weeks by the National Retail Federation found that young adults are fueling the trend. Of those surveyed, 57 percent in the 18-to-24 category said they planned to dress in costume and nearly half said they'd be attending a Halloween party. In the 25- to 34-year-old category, it was 45 percent and 37 percent, respectively. Survey respondents in their 40s and 50s were more likely to decorate their homes and yards.

"I think our generation is a little more hesitant to let go of childhood than past generations," says Ehlert, the Chicago bar manager, who's 30. "We want to hang onto Peter Pan as long we can."

Meanwhile, others are carving out their own holiday traditions. At OrangeYouGlad, a three-woman design firm in New York, Halloween is an "official company holiday." Last year, the trio dressed as "Domo-kuns" — friendly space creatures from Japanese lore — and attended the packed annual Halloween parade in Greenwich Village. The following day, they traipsed around town posing for photos with tourists and at city landmarks. "We love it because we get to be creative and fun," says 36-year-old Monica Hsu, one of the firm's partners. And with all the seriousness of life — war, terrorism, economic woes — she adds, "This is one day when people can let go."

New Orleans is another city where masses of costumed adults gather to party on Oct. 31. Archie and Jane Casbarian watch the festivities with friends from the balcony of the couple's restaurant, Arnaud's, in the city's French Quarter. Each year, they host a formal dinner and costume party for a small group whose children, like theirs, have "flown the coop." This year, the Casbarians plan to dress as the scarecrow and Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz." And Archie Casbarian is sure of one thing: "My kids, who are 26 and 28, wouldn't be caught dead with us."

Other young people are glad to share the Halloween fun with the adults in their lives. Says Richard Hawks, a 13-year-old from Northridge, Calif.: "If my step-mom and dad didn't dress up, I would be disappointed."

[This article way overanalyzes the day. Adults just like to dress up so that they can go home and have kinky sex afterward... not that there's anything wrong with that.]

A professor at the University of Alabama was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further..."

"Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" Dwayne, way in the back, raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium, the professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

"Ahhhhh Shiiiiiit ... From way back thar, I thought you said, "Goats"!!

Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating

• You get winded from knocking on the door.
• You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
• You ask for high fiber candy only.
• When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
• People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
• When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
• By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
• You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
• You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
• You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Haunted Places

http://theshadowlands.net/places/index2.htm

Signs your Alabama Mobile Home Might be Haunted

• A can of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air.
• Blood drips out of your simulated wood paneling.
• The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.
• The room is spinning, and you're not even drunk yet.
• That car in your front yard isn't on blocks -- it's levitating by itself.
• Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he's blocking your view of rasslin'.
• That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.
• The chain the ghost rattles is attached to his wallet.
• You feel an eerie presence every time "Freebird" plays on the radio.
• The trailer is shaking, but there's no tornado in sight.
• Your Dale Earndhart bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.
• The ghost is completely invisible except for the tobacco juice running down his chin.
• Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out "Achy Breaky Heart."
• There's a funny howlin' noise comin' from the corn crib -- no, wait, that's Jimbo.
• You hear strange moaning, but only during Shania Twain videos.
• You're missing four PBR's, and the missus only drinks Old Milwaukee.
• The lights turn on and off even though you paid the power bill.
• You hear blood-curdling screams, but both neighbors are still in jail.
• You get a mysterious phone call that says, "I know what you did last NASCAR race."
• Instead of saying "boo" the ghost says "boo-ya'll!"
• The veneer of window grime looks just like Calvin... and he's peeing on YOU!!
• Instead of naked women, your playing cards, all of a sudden, have pictures of covered bridges on them.
• The folks on Jenny Jones discuss domestic problems that eerily resemble your own.
• You get a creepy feelin' and it ain't because Richard Simmons is on TV.
• You come home one day and it's clean.

Have a very LARGE day, Folliers!!!

me