Greetings, Laff Lovers!!!
It would seem fitting to talk about lifelong romance on this day of
love, but, unfortunately, I must address the break-up of one of our
most famous celebrity couples -- the romance is over for Barbie and
Ken. After 43 years as one of the world's prettiest pairs, the perfect
plastic couple is breaking up.
The couple's "business manager," Russell Arons, vice president
of marketing at Mattel, said that Barbie and Ken "feel it's time
to spend some quality time -- apart. Like other celebrity couples, their
Hollywood romance has come to an end," said Arons, who quickly
added that the duo "will remain friends."
Truth be told, the announcement was prompted by the fact that Mattel
is releasing the Cali (as in California) Girl Barbie, arriving in stores
now. Ken will still be in the picture, only now he's "just a friend,"
Mattel claims. Whatever. The important news is that to better reflect
her single status, Cali Barbie will wear board shorts and a bikini top,
metal hoop earrings, and have a deeper tan. This new style already has
attracted a new admirer, Blaine the Australian boogie boarder action
figure.
But I suspect that G.I. Joe had something to do with the sudden estrangement.
Chicks have always gone for guys in uniform. But if she left Ken because
she finally figured out that he has no "male parts," then
Joe may also be a bit of a disappointment for her, unless he can do
something with that kung-fu grip of his.
Then again, I may have it all wrong. Perhaps it's Ken that digs Joe
and they're gonna hop in Joe's Jeep and head to Massachusetts to tie
the knot. Meanwhile Barbie and Teresa are experimenting with the "lifestyle"
in San Francisco.
Barbie, the most popular fashion doll in the world, met Ken on the
set of a TV commercial in 1961, and they had been inseparable ever since.
Arons hinted Wednesday that the separation may be partially due to Ken's
reluctance to getting married. Apparently all those bridal Barbie dolls
in toy chests around the globe are really just examples of Barbie's
wishful thinking. Another possible factor is Barbie's career. The doll
who was "born" Barbie Millicent Roberts in 1959 has been everything
from a rock star to military medic, and she's currently marketed in
more than 150 countries. According to Mattel, every second, three Barbie
dolls are sold somewhere in the world.
So where does that leave Ken? I'm guessing that Barbie will probably
get most of the couples belongings. After all, she is the one that's
been bringing in all the cash over the years with her various careers.
That may have even been part of the problem -- Barb was tired of supporting
his apparently unemployed butt. So, she'll probably wind up with most
of the assets including, but not limited to, the townhouse, the convertible
roadster, the beauty salon, the cruise ship, the cafe, the kennel, etc.
Face it, EVERYTHING is in her name. You never see the "Ken Townhouse"
or the "Ken Cruise Ship." But I have no idea what's gonna
happen to all that "Happy Family" stuff they were hocking.
Maybe they'll give it all to Midge -- she has a family now.
Whatever the case, I'm sure the lawyer action figures will be sold
separately.
Incorrect anatomically,
me |
