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| Fogie's
Follies, Frolics & Funnies |
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those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they
can go. -T.S. Eliot |
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[We refresh the parts other ezines can't reach.]
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Greetings, Laff Lovers!!!
My wife answered the phone and I overheard her conversation:
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Fogie has been quite
difficult... Yes, I know I ought to be more firm, but it is
hard. Well, you know how he is.
Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that
he could be a vile creature who would make my life hectic and
you begged me not to marry him.
You were perfectly right.
You want to speak with him? All right."
She looked up from the telephone and called to me: "Fogie,
your mother wants to talk to you!"
Have a very LARGE
day, Folliers!
Oedipusly,
me |
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
COUNTRY MUSIC CLASSICS--A F R E E weekly email
newsletter, all about classic country music from the 1950's
thru the 1980's. News--information--history, and trivia on classic
country music! Plus answers to your questions about classic
country songs and singers in our regular Q & A feature..PLUS
the true facts why a song was written or recorded in "Story
Behind The SOng." PLUS news and information on classic
country artists and songs. For your F R E E subscription,
go to http://www.countrymusicclassics.com/
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |
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A doctor says to his patient, Derek, "I've got
good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is you're
showing signs of being a homosexual."
"With bad news like that, what could be the good
news?" Derek asks.
"The good news is I think you're really cute." |
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| I have not yet begun to procrastinate. |
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They raised the price of tickets to Disney World to $59.75.
They've also put up a new sign that says 'Your wallet must
be this big to get in.'"
~Jay Leno
"I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved
her, and she said that I must have been out drinking again.
I asked her why she would say that, and she said, 'Because
I'm your father.'"
~Dave
George
"White House officials tried to talk to Dick Cheney
about softening his image, but have been told never to
interrupt him when he's yelling at puppies."
~Craig
Kilborn |
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Pure
Gadzooks
A
clean humor newsletter?
Can
clean cartoons and jokes be funny?
You
bet they can ....
Join
Pure Gadzooks Now!
It's
clean, it's fun, it's free ...
and
it comes all the way from Greece!
Send
a blank email to:
puregadzooks-subscribe@jokeworm.com
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| Hiccups
Lead to Two Deaths BOGOTA, Colombia
- A Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death
while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver
at him to scare him, police in the Caribbean port city
of Barranquilla said on Tuesday.
After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan
in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught
he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide, police
said. The incident took place on Sunday night while the
two were having drinks with neighbors.
Galvan started to hiccup and Vargas, who works as a security
guard, said he would use the home remedy for hiccups of
scaring him. He pulled out his gun, pointed it at Galvan
and it accidentally went off, witnesses told local television.
"They were drinking but they were aware of what
was going on," one witness said.
[I was thinking of using
the same method to knock off my mother-in-law, but I got
tired of waiting for her to get the hiccups.] |
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An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam
he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she
looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. I'm 90
years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize
you've had it?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "How much
do I owe you?" |
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| Pull
Fogie's Finger!
We have teamed up with Prank
Place to bring you our unique collection of outrageous pranks,
practical jokes, and gag gifts. We are proud to offer the web's
largest collection of funny novelties, gag gifts, and pranks.
From Fart Machines to Bumper Stickers, we are the web's leading
retailer of fun! Today's featured item...
 The
Official Countdown Calendar for Despondent Democrats and Other
Thinking People
Our cathartic calendar will help you count down the months,
weeks and days until George W. Bush moves back to Crawford.
Rant at Dubya’s dubious decisions, wince at his words,
and chuckle through the waning days of the Bush League. This
must have wall accessory is 11 3/4" X 11 3/4" and
brimming with original artwork by five budding illustrators
from the California College of Arts and Crafts and two seasoned
cartoonists.
Click here to
get yours or check out other fun stuff today! |
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Lead,
FOLLY or get out of the way with
Folly Fru-Fru!
Clothing, hats, mugs, mousepads, posters and more... some even
have the soon-to-be-famous pic of Fogie himself. Now you can
wish everyone a LARGE
day!!! Today's featured item...
 Fogie's
LARGE North American Tour
Now's your chance to get Fogie's official tour memorabilia.
Choose from the tour logo image, the tour cities image (from
Assawoman, VA to Weiner, AR) or select an item that has both!
Click here
to get yours or check out our other Fru-Fru today! |
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Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck
on the escalators for over four hours.
A blond was sitting on
the train reading the newspaper. The headline read, "12
Brazilian Soldiers Killed."
She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the
stranger sitting next to her and asked, "WOW, That's
quite a lot! Just How many is a Brazilian?" |
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The
Top 5 Surprises During This Year's Super Bowl
5. Starting at left tackle for the Steelers: Rosie O'Donnell!
4. During a crucial goal-line call, Bill Cowher's mandible
freakishly decouples from his face and proceeds to "Lecterize"
the referee.
3. Due to a wardrobe malfunction during the halftime
show, Paris Hilton's boobs remain chastely covered.
2. James Frey boasts on Larry King afterward about the
winning touchdown pass he threw in the fourth quarter,
then receives a congratulatory phone call from Oprah.
and the Number 1 Surprise During This Year's Super Bowl...
1. Prior to the game, Seattle fans flee in terror when
a giant golden orb appears in the sky.
Thanks to The Top
5 List http://www.topfive.com
Copyright 2006 by Chris White |
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| Would
You Rather... Pick the worst
-- mullets or beer guts. Would you rather be eaten alive
or buried alive? These and other horrible imponderables.
http://www.picktheworst.com |
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To send an email to Fogie and try to attain
your very own 15kb of fame in the Fallout, click here.
Regarding
past Notorious News articles & Follies...
People who live in areas where you get hurricanes and storms
year after year and get wiped out, hear this, we have helped
you the last time. Get the hell out of there, take your insurance
settlement and move. Next time you get hit by a hurricane you
are on your own. Only fools keep going back believing it won't
happen again. -Squaredancer
[Kinda like the morons that keep
writing to me thinking I won't verbally bitchslap them again.]
Did you ever notice that when people are in support of general,
public nudity that they seem to be thinking about Fabio or Bo
Derek. NOBODY considers that most of us are like Tom and Roseanne
Arnold. Yikes! I'd pay good money to have them put their clothes
BACK ON! Thanks... you're doing a "bang-up" job. -Mike
(aka Okiedude)
[That's what Mrs. Okiedude said.]
General
comments...
I've been going thru 'fogie withdrawal' :( -Christine
[I hear that a lot since I've
been married.]
Okay, now I am confused. I had no problem with yesterday's
mailing. Read it fine. Got today's CORRECTED version and it
was just a purple screen. HUH? -Karen
[Acid flashbacks, eh?]
I heard something the other day that struck me funny. I heard
a guy say that you don't have to put out to every guy that wants
it just for love. When I said i don't get it, he just laughed,
said I really AM blonde then proceeded to make love to me. I
haven't herard from him in 5 days but, is what he said really
true? Yours truely -Kitty
[No, it isn't. Nobody will ever
love you unless you put out, preferably on the first date.]
wow guys i havent been to the page in qiite a while since 2000
in fact and it sure seems not like business as usual? i am sooo
confused! took me long enough to even find but where is the
forum??? some of my most memorable times were spent bs-ing with
pistol pete and others. where did it go? am i missing something,
i loved you guys and i want ya back. help a girl out. Im really
really sorry but the state insisted I go on vacation. I missed
yall tho, so let me know whats up. so far I cant see any reason
to even need or use a user name or password on here!!!! -the
original "sweettreat" now "2sweettreat"
[(Shhhh... I think she found us...
Quick -- everybody hide!)]
I loved White Trash Christmas! Who sings this song? Please
help me. -Sdfgrl
[Looking for a family anthem?]
fogie....i just got on your newsletters list recently and i
love it!...wish my boyfriend were more like you....the only
way to get sex from him during football season is to wait till
halftime and if the halftime is decent....i can forget it...see
ya...debbie.
[Dear...debbie...my interpretation
is...if your boyfriend is so interested in football...that he
goes the entire season without sex...then he's either gay...or
you're not doing it correctly...more likely he's gay.]
Don't you think that in your profession, you should know proper
grammar by now? You write like a 5th grader. I can't believe
I thought you were intelligent. By using all those big words,
you really had me fooled. Way to go. -Leslie
[Don't you think in your profession,
you should be tested for STD's more regularly?]
You're so full of crap I can smell you from here. -Laura
[I think that's your breath blowin'
back at you.]
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 Once
In a Lifetime
Revenge of the Nerds meets Baywatch in this hilarious commercial
from AGFA.
Just click here
to go to the FREE Member's
Area for this and more hilarious audio clips, videos and
other stuff! |
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Have a very LARGE
day, Folliers!!!
me |
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